you’re a bad person
i have a great many thoughts, most i must ignore, but... i think my thoughts are popular
i won't do that
i want this
why don't you understand
why can't i...
why can't i find relief
where is the end
are you my friend
why
i'm a bad person
my good thoughts are brief, and even thinking them, i often choose not to act on
she's pretty
it's a beautiful day
i don't feel sick
thank you for thinking about me
i care about you
most days the best i can say
i'm trying
but i don't say it
it doesn't matter
do better
stop complaining
you're being weak again
if he can do it, you can too
start over
somehow, my mind knows
it's not that hard
you're not trying hard enough
lazy
lazy
bad
imperfect
another failure, built with mistake
my body disagrees
stop
you've done enough
it hurts
quit
when i'm tired the thoughts come back
fuck
fuck
fuck you
no i can't sit yet
i said i want MY life
you always fuck it up
those reactions make me more tired
you
you
you
it's all your fault
it's the system
all these leeches are poison
is this what it feels like to live, 'cause it feels more like i'm dying
slowly
someone keeps telling me that the mind can create anything
but...
that means it can destroy everything
who gave me all this power, the power of evil, that i confront every moment with unproven doctrine
with no reward
except more tests
growing, becoming: difficult, complex, obscure
i know, i have evidence, i'm a bad person
you must be different, to believe
because you keep treating me like i hope the best for you
that's not me, that's the war i'm fighting
you'll never see it, but we can pretend
that each other, the person we invite into our lives
this is the one i like
is becoming a good person
